


Loyal Son

by heyholetsgo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Leia is tired of war, One-Sided Attraction, Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, dom!leia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 03:42:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13286265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyholetsgo/pseuds/heyholetsgo
Summary: Leia knows Poe's admiration is not strictly professional and she'd be a fool to say he isn't attractive and a liar to say she hasn't had her fantasies.It doesn't matter. Poe's no Han. The Princess of Alderaan needed a hotshot flyboy; the General of the Resistance needs a soldier who will obey orders.





	Loyal Son

When her palm cracks across Poe’s cheek, Leia thinks of Han.

“You’re demoted.”

Poe, of course, barely flinches, his eyes steely and cool, concealing his uncertainty with bravado. It nearly works. He doesn’t meet her gaze when she dresses him down. He’s too angry, too hotheaded, too ashamed to do so. 

She almost expects him to spit, “As you wish, Princess” or to cover her reprimand with a kiss. Good Captain Dameron just accepts her words with narrowed eyes and gritted teeth. They both know he won’t listen and Leia’s heart aches with fear. Poe would die for the Resistance and because she is the Resistance, Poe would die for her. However much she might wish she were, Leia is not enough a sentimental fool to pin the Resistance on the life of one fighter pilot. One day, she will order Poe to certain death and he will go. Oh, loyal son.

Leia cannot ignore that her voice, however cutting, now carries a trembling frailty that betrays her exhaustion. In the Rebellion days, they used to say that they fought so that their children didn’t have to. She said it. Shara and Kes said it. They fought so that their young son, waiting for them back on Yavin IV, would know peace in his life. Poe, we failed you. Poe, we did all of this to spare you. How dare you risk your life like this now.

His youth is infuriating. His recklessness, his conviction that there is no price to high to pay for victory… an abuse of his command. The twist of his lips betray the sneer he is containing. He thinks she is weak. The disdain is so far from his usual adoration and attentive respect that it feels like a slap back.

She wants to rip the Commander pin from his flight suit. She wants to shout at him that Shara Bey would never have sacrificed the lives of her pilots like that. She wants to shake him until he shares her fear. But she is a General because she does not do these things. She is the General because she makes fast, clear-headed tactical decisions in times of crisis and because she handles her misbehaving field officers diplomatically and sternly. She leaves him with his demotion. 

Poe had grown into such a beautiful young man. Maybe Leia’s always had a thing for arrogant hotshot flyboys who like to be slapped around a bit in bed.

Leia had been a bit enamored by Poe from the day he first set foot on their base. She thinks they all had been. He was handsome, with tousled hair and soft eyes and enough energy to keep a mid-size planet powered up for a week. He was kind and, in those days, still touched by innocence and best friends with his funny little droid. He had a sense of justice and faith that ran deep within him. He believed in the Resistance; he believed in the rights of all the free people of the galaxy; he believed in General Organa. He faintly tried to be humble, but he was beyond a doubt one of the finest pilots in the galaxy and he had the confident stride and quick charm of a young hero.

She holds him back after the debrief on the first big mission he’s being sent out on. She grips his arm and peers into his face. “Flight Officer Dameron, I want to be sure you understand the mission parameters.”

“Yes, General.”

“I hear you’re settling in well with the flight. You’re a good soldier, Dameron. You’ll come to me with any problems?” 

“Yes, General.” 

She shouldn’t, but she allows her eyes to drop to his lips, which are parted slightly and, she realizes, very close to her own. Her hand is still on his arm. She must have paused for a hint too long, because he pulls that bottom lip into his mouth and lets it slip from between his teeth. Her eyes snap back up to meet his. “Then may the Force be with you,” she dismisses him.

His “Yes, General” is said just a bit too softly and his gaze lingers even after she responds with a crisp nod and a squeeze of the arm. She turns away first. She knows that look, but she’d better wait for them to return to put the whole thing to rest.

When they return, reporting that Dameron had bagged nearly half the kills and saved at least one other pilot, his eyes are seeking her across the tarmac as he hops down, too impatient to wait for the ground crew to bring out a ladder, scrambling instead down the S-foil chassis. 

He is whooping with joy. He gives a sloppy salute and beams at her. “It seems that the Force was with us, General.”

It is impossible, she thinks, to not smile back at this young pilot. “Congratulations, Flight Officer. The Resistance is fortunate to have you.”

He is drunk on praise and as he is crowded by other pilots, all clamoring to congratulate the newest dashing ace pilot, he glances back as if confirming her approval. Was I good enough? Are you proud of me? There is a hint of self-consciousness belying the swagger that briefly fills that pang of loss in her heart where Han used to reside. It feels good to be needed. All she can think is, _Force, Shara'd have my head._

Somehow, she forgets to ever have that conversation about the sort of conduct that is expected and relations that are not permitted between herself and those under the command. She excuses her negligence by noting that Poe is nothing but a picture of decorum. If his eyes linger, it is because he, ever cautious and attentive, is simply awaiting further instructions from his general. If, in coming years, they become closer, it is nothing but a growing friendship between commanding officers who must share in the burden of responsibility for the lives of those under their command and for the future of the galaxy. If he is over-zealous to please her, it is because he is a loyal solider and committed to the Resistance’s cause and she is the senior officer- nothing more.

She could have him, if she wanted. She could order him to her bed, but she doesn’t think she would have to. She’s no fool. Poe’s admiration is not strictly professional. She’s seen the way he looks at her as she leaves, the pleased flush to his cheeks when she commends his work, the tremble of his lip when he presents himself before her alone in her quarters, the catch of his breath when she touches him. Poe- willful, headstrong, eager-to-please Poe. He would do anything for her. She could kriff away her grief and loneliness with Shara’s son. He would let her do anything she wanted, would crawl on his knees, would kiss her gently and fervently until she came undone, would be whatever she needed. He would let her call him Han and would buck up against the restraints gasping and begging for relief and would murmur back whatever words she wanted him to. He would whimper when she gripped his jaw and his eyes would roll back when she pulled his hair. The next day, he would salute her respectfully when he met her on the bridge and would give his report and would obey her orders.

He’s no Han, though. He wouldn’t know to talk back, to bite, and to refuse orders. He wouldn’t know to fight for control even when he’s tied up underneath her. He would only disappoint her more. Poe will never be enough. He could strip naked and beg and make her come, but she would close her eyes, would imagine Han in his place, and would ache and ache. She’s no fool. Poe and Han both wanted, but they wanted different things from her. She knows the difference between hero-worship and love, even if Poe doesn’t. 

Leia leans from her mistakes. If she didn't, the Resistance would never survive. Leia loved Han and he still left. One day, she will order Poe to fly out on his last mission. If he trusts in her command and if he obeys her orders in the field, it will be later rather than sooner, but she doesn't need Threepio to tell her that the odds of outliving him are good. Leia is no stranger to loss and to grief- no Alderaanian is; no Resistance fighter is- but however mighty she often seems, she is certain there is only so much more she could possibly bear. Kriffing Poe would only compromise the integrity of her command and threaten exposure and allegations- rightful allegations- of misconduct. There have been enough secrets in this war. It’s best to let fantasies remain fantasies and let Poe remain ever the dutiful solider- no more.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing on this website. Flame my trash pairing.
> 
> I'm very sure that Leia/Holdo is canon.


End file.
